A Woman's Heart Hidden in His

So there is the saying, “a woman's heart must be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him in order to find her.” As I was riding in the car with my brother and his friend to church the other night, I decided to think through this statement. Though these thoughts probably are not original to me, I came up with several.

1. He must find her while pursuing God, not her affections.

This is the most obvious implication from the saying, yet I believe it probably is one of the hardest for men. Though I have never seriously romantically pursued a women, I know just how the feeling liking a girl is intoxicating. It can quickly become the thought that consumes your every waking moment. Yet when this happens, if not careful, we can forget pursuing God in the process and start trying to pursue her. By doing this we subjugate God’s will to our own. God says, “Focus on me and I will take care of you”. But we want to say, “God, if I don’t go after her now, I’m going to miss my opportunity.” Guys, if we cannot trust God to get her to us, we will never be able to trust God when it comes to taking care of her for a lifetime.

2. Our desire should be to please God, not her.

It is easy to start to conform to some we like, doing what we think will make her happy, yet this is not good. We should be concerned with pleasing God in all our actions and through that we will please her. A woman wants to know that a man will tell her no to follow after God. I believe this is because she knows that the moment a man is willing to put her before God, that he will be capable of putting God second to anything else.

3. Side by side, not face to face.

I know this analogy is not original to me, but it works so well. The image most of us have of romance is of a man and women face to face staring into each other’s eyes. It seems to indicate to men that she is our focus, our passion, and our desire. As much as women want to be desired and passionately loved, I do not believe they want to be our focus. This may sound odd, but I believe it is true. More than this image, I believe the godly woman wants to be at the side of a man who is passionately focused towards God. I believe this is because a man who is passionately following God will be able to love her passionately through an entire lifetime.

4. Parallel, not intersecting.

There is the constant notion that we will eventually “cross” paths with our future husband or wife. This seems to indicate that each of us as we are going on our own path will bump into the one meant for us. Rather than the image of a roadside accident, I believe it should be an image of discovery. In our pursuit of God, we should wake up one day to realize that some has been walking beside us towards the same goal.

Because of this, I believe that when we find the one, she or he will be heading the same direction we are. Our dreams for the future and what we each feel God has called us to should be the same. If either you need to give up your calling to be together, then I can say with almost complete confidence I do not believe it is God’s will for you to be together. I have a calling on my life to be involved in the political life this nation, yet if I were to give that vision up to be with a women who felt a calling to be a missionary in Africa, I would be placing her before God. And for her to give up her vision for me would be just as wrong.

Ultimately, this and everything else I have mentioned goes back to Matthew 6:33 (NIV), “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”. Or as the Amplified puts it, “But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.”